Whatever Works Podcast

Allow Yourself to Rest

Life is about more than what we create, and some of the most important elements of being human can’t be measured and optimized. By taking an occasional break from the pressure to produce, you can open up space to nurture relationships with yourself and others and feel more complete and rounded.

If You See a Job, It's Yours

Complaining doesn't resolve anything. Taking action, or otherwise initiating a solution, can both fix the problem at hand and alleviate negative emotions, as well as inspire others to be proactive about tackling problems they see.

Accountability Partners

When working alone, it can often be hard to stay on task and stick to a desired schedule or commitment. One way to boost your determination is to connect with an accountability partner with whom you share your goals and progress. Knowing that you will report your achievements to someone else provides a motivation boost to do your best.

Log Your Life

Creating a decision log allows you to record and reflect on both the decisions you make as well as their consequences, enabling you to make better decisions in the future. By tracking what you choose to do and the outcomes of your choices, you set yourself up to learn valuable lessons and make future decisions from a more informed place.

Delay Decisions Until the Optimal Moment

Decisions can be hard to make, often because we do not have enough information on hand. We may need to do research or get input from other people before we feel comfortable making a decision. Alternatively, sometimes the information we need simply doesn’t exist yet or is not yet concrete (for example, next week’s weather). In these instances, it might be best to put off the decision for as long as possible.

What If I Had to Decide Now?

Sometimes, we go back and forth on making a decision without reaching a definite conclusion because we are unsure about how to resolve our conflicting wants and needs into a cohesive course of action. We’re afraid of making the wrong choice, so instead of settling on a decision, we get stuck in limbo, failing to choose at all. At times like this, it can be useful to proactively shift our point of view.

Coaching

You can find coaches who specialize in almost anything. When you want to improve an aspect of your life, a coach may be a more appropriate choice than a therapist. Rather than exploring your emotional responses, a coach will concentrate on improving your skills and mindset and supporting you to become the person you want to be.

Talk About What's Happening Now

We all have surface conversations with certain people. We may feel comfortable discussing relatively inconsequential topics, such as the weather, sports, or work, but we fail to take the interaction into deeper, more meaningful territory. If we continue to relate only on this level, we will never acquire a true understanding of these people or forge a closer relationship. Instead, talk about what's happening now.

Personal Operating Manual

Create a personal operating manual with the details of people you care about deeply. Whenever you learn something new about them, noting it serves as a reminder of what they like and don’t like, enabling you to retain this information and behave accordingly.

Wheel of Consent

The Wheel of Consent, a concept originally created by Betty Martin, is a tool to support this process within appropriate boundaries and structure. It highlights the four roles we can take on in relationships and, by bringing them to conscious awareness, invites us to experiment with them.